Dear younger MAPs,

I write this letter to you as a millennial, originally from the west but living elsewhere. I joined the MAP community all the way back in 2006, when I was a teenager myself. As a community leader, activist, and amateur counselor of other MAPs, I think it important to share with you the following advice on how to live a fulfilling life as a MAP. These are only my personal opinions, and there are statements with which other MAPs would surely disagree. I hope my thoughts will at least be of some help.

So many of us are gaslit into believing that there is something wrong with us, that our sexual orientation is some kind of grotesque aberration, and that we fantasize about the brutalization of a small and helpless child. The reality could hardly be more different. Attraction to minors is remarkably common, more so to adolescents, but very much so to young children as well. Being exclusively attracted to children and teens is no doubt less common, though one hardly deserves the guillotine for not finding adults attractive. As for MAP fantasies? My understanding, having communicated with so many other MAPs online, is that most of us fantasize about warm and loving interactions, far more tender than those of regular adult-attracted people.

Not only is being a MAP very common and its fantasies benign, but the expressed consensual form is harmful only because it is made to be so. No studies have proven that adult-minor sexual contact is inherently harmful. All of the studies that claim such have been conducted against a backdrop of criminalization and stigmatization, under which the young person will be made to feel violated and abused by legal systems and the society in which they live, even if the sex itself did no harm at all. That does not mean you should go out and have sex with anyone below the age of consent; secondary harm is very real and could do serious damage to the young person you love, not to mention yourself. But it does mean that you shouldn't feel in any way negative about your feelings. You fantasize about a harmless expression of love. Society twists it into something dark and evil.

Your feelings would, devoid of the western hysteria that is slowly but surely poisoning the entire world, be nothing short of a blessing both to yourself and the many young people you would encounter. MAPs are natural mentors. We exist to support those neglected by parents who were supposed to be there but aren't. In prehistoric times, we'd raise orphans. In modern times, and in more reasonable societies, we pick up the slack for single parents, and we support kids who otherwise need an adult role model or friend in their life.

Unless you believe that you are a danger to children, beyond the brainwashing inflicted upon you by modern western society, you should not refrain from trying to form mentoring relationships or friendships with children. The masses will scoff at this, because they cannot imagine sexual desire that is not acted upon. That's a black mark on them, not you.

Forming platonic friendships with children, and working with them, is one of the few things that keeps me sane. Many MAPs will tell you the same. And in a world where every form of erotica a MAP may enjoy is criminalized, under an ever-growing litany of excuses that reveals 'child protection' is nothing but a lie, having a YF and then thinking about them when you take care of business later is at least something. Again, our detractors will scream out loud, but my suggestion does no harm and they offer no alternatives. They just criminalize, bully, and demand 'help' that demeans while changing nothing. You have to make whatever you can of that which remains.

I appreciate that it may be very difficult to make young friends in the west, but it's not impossible. The stereotype of MAPs is so extreme that unless you look and act like a hideous ogre, you're far less likely than you believe to be suspected. You should try to be your authentic self while constantly scanning the horizon for threats, avoiding obviously reckless behavior.

Speaking of recklessness, I've seen and heard all manner of fuck-ups. They include things like using the same e-mail address on a MAP site and a non-MAP site, drunkenly confessing your attraction to children to a co-worker, and talking to a therapist who hasn't been vetted by an organization like B4U-ACT. As a MAP, you always need to think very carefully about the possible consequences of your decisions, for they can be truly extreme even when you have done nothing unlawful.

To prevent legal trouble, you should properly inform yourself of the laws in your jurisdiction. So many MAPs believe that AI images or cartoons are legal even when they're not. Likewise, some naive MAPs will read that countries such as Argentina (for example) have an age of consent of 13, ignorant of their "corruption of minors" law that makes the real age of consent 18. Never believe what you read on 'age of consent charts' or sites like Wikipedia; always check the actual laws and published judgments for yourself. And don't forget about extraterritorial laws that may apply to you wherever you are.

Managing your digital security is vital. That means not using a phone or tablet for MAP sites, even when those sites are legal. You should be using a computer with full-disk encryption; it is very simple to set up, and the only downside is having to enter a password on boot. Your enemies can speculate and accuse as much as they like, but they should never have irrefutable evidence of your attraction to children.

If it sounds very difficult to be a safe, responsible, and fulfilled MAP... that's because it is. However, you must never turn the negativity inward. There's nothing inherently wrong with being a MAP, and everything wrong with the countries and individuals that treat minor-attraction as the worst thing on Earth. Humans have a long history of dehumanizing and subjugating a particular group, whether that be due to race, skin color, gender, or sexuality. The treatment of MAPs in the modern world is no more justified than slavery, the stoning of women, the chemical castration of gay men, or lobotomies performed on rebellious girls. All of those horrible behaviors were/are supported by excuses that the majority truly accepted, much as the oppression of MAPs has widely-accepted excuses today. There's no difference whatsoever. "Kids can't consent" is just as made up as "black people are an inferior race", and even that claim is simply cover for the hatred of what MAPs feel rather than do.

Never forget that western society is truly evil toward people like us. If you're stuck there and wish you could just burn it all down, your feelings are very much justified, and doubly so if you've read all the vitriol posted online. However, I would advise you to take a deep breath and not go insane. There are also moderates, and people who quietly support MAPs but don't dare speak up. Some of them reach out to me to say as much. That doesn't make everything OK; far from it. But it does mean the worst comments have to be put into a broader perspective. When I've gone through the profiles of those posting virulent anti-MAP comments on social media, many of them have turned out to be awful pieces of shit in general, some barely even functional. They attack us because they are miserable losers who can't get away with attacking any other group these days.

Still, I would advise all western MAPs who can to emigrate, especially if minor-attraction is a core part of their sexuality or identity. It is at least easier to make platonic YFs outside of the west, and it's not like living an easier life as a MAP is the only benefit. The western world is severely overrated in general.

The easiest way to get a job overseas is to become a teacher, and ESL has the lowest bar to entry. There are ESL jobs pretty much everywhere, although most countries and employers require at least a degree and a criminal background check. If you're a MAP, you should obviously teach kids; that pretty much goes without saying.

Living outside the west, I have a number of YFs. The parents probably suspect I have more than a platonic attraction to their boys, though I don't publicly identify as anything other than a regular heterosexual man... not that anyone ever asks. There's really no reason to question what is a good thing for everyone involved, especially given how confident and natural I present myself. Before you get too excited, however, note that my relationship with the boys is not a sexually expressed one. That's a risky path to take pretty much anywhere. Bu it's still fun and rewarding to entertain boys, and I think most boylovers would agree.

Of course, many of us need mental health support at some point or another. So do most 'regular people'. But you have to be careful. You should never even think about contacting a random counselor; I've heard countless stories of therapists reporting MAPs without evidence of a crime being planned, which led to their lives being absolutely ruined. LifeLine operates a chat room for peer support, and B4U-ACT maintains a list of MAP-affirming counselors who can be trusted. It would be remiss not to add that you must never hurt yourself due to shame over being a MAP, or because of how society treats us; it is our enemies who would be better off dead, and we should never give those bastards what they want.

If you feel angry, get involved in activism. You don't have to actually believe you will change the world, and you don't have to come out publicly. The MAP community seriously needs help spreading ideas on social media, which is worth persisting at even if individual accounts may get banned. You don't need to state that you're a MAP. You can present yourself as a neutral party and be subtle, or you could pose as an 'anti' to drive traffic to pro-MAP commentary. What I don't recommend is turning yourself into some sort of martyr. I considered it as a much younger man... coming out and being extremely aggressive about MAP rights in person. But well, once you've done that, you can't take it back. I'm very pleased I didn't go down that road. You can always go nuts later, perhaps if you're outed against your will, or when you no longer care about maintaining employment or chasing YFs.

Time for a summary...

I want young MAPs to know they're not alone, not sick or weird, and not without a place in the world. Being a MAP is something you should be proud of. You must do your absolute best to be your authentic self while also doing everything you can to stay safe. That means working with children, and mentoring them, which is your natural role in life. You should be angry at society, but take a deep breath and refrain from doing anything crazy or reckless. Get involved in activism, but don't be a martyr.

Stay strong and stay proud. If anything, the world needs more people like you.

With love and solidarity,

Brian Ribbon