I drafted this article more than a week ago while I was having technical issues that precluded me from editing my blog. Since then, I have become part-subject of an 'investigation' that made its way to Reddit, resulting in a number of people seeking to attack the hosting platform this site uses, not to mention doxx me to my employer. This is hardly the first time someone has tried to fuck with MAP site hosting, nor the first time someone has attempted to 'expose' me. It certainly won't be the last. It's also very unlikely to go anywhere, and if somehow it does, this blog will be uploaded to another host fairly swiftly, as I keep regular backups encrypted on my own computer. I thought about adding commentary on the matter to this little diatribe, but rather than rewrite my already-drafted article with reference to the latest attack on my good name, I will instead deal with that minidrama in its own piece later... possibly, assuming it doesn't just fizzle out tamely like these things usually do.

Get ready for another rant , and I super-duper promise that from next week onward, there will be a return to the usual programming. I have another interview coming up, this time with an incredibly insightful and compassionate non-MAP supporter.

Last Fall, I wrote about the thoroughly despicable Liam Bennett-Smith, a man who is trying to make a career out of hate videos on YouTube, having failed miserably at the many other things he’d tried. His favorite target is MAPs... transgender MAPs, to be precise. When I pointed this out in my article, his trans supporters screamed ‘how dare you imply that trans people and MAPs are the same?! ’. Of course, that is absolutely not what I'd done, and their response missed the mark catastrophically.

Since I posted that article, Bennett-Smith has published attacks on other MAPs, one of them being of a gender that is not quite clear, and another being transgender as well as trans-many-other-things. He is going all out on attacking trans people who are also MAPs, swearing that he’s only doing it because they’re MAPs, when he's obviously doing it because he hates trans people and needs a 'legitimate' excuse for attacking them. And still, his ever-loyal trans supporters go insane at MAPs, not him, for causing the two phenomenon to be conflated! It’s like a victim of domestic abuse salivating at their abuser’s feet, simultaneously blaming everyone who tries to step in and help. How can those people not see what's actually going on?

Anyway...

The comments below Liam’s video in response to my article presently number north of two-hundred, and I check in every so often to see the grim state of the modern world’s take on MAPness. I’m not linking to the video and its comments as it contains a doxx of someone else (a trans MAP, naturally), and she isn’t exactly ecstatic about it.

One of the most prominent beliefs among the Bennett-Smith cult, as divulged in the bitter mess that is his comments section, was the idea that I’d moved to Asia to molest boys, having been exiled from teaching in America or another western country. Because obviously, a pedo can do nothing more than rape and pillage, and the west is a biblical paradise of sugar and spice.

I actually left my country of origin as soon as I could, and at first that was not as a teacher. I hate that country for much more than its approach to MAPs; I was treated terribly there as a kid, bullied to hell and back, and as an older adolescent I suffered due to the incessant virulent nastiness hurled at anyone merely attracted to people younger than them. That country was nothing but torture for me, from childhood through to adulthood, and if I could press a magic button to erase it from existence entirely, I would. In summary, I live where I do partly because I'm a MAP, but also for so many other compelling reasons.

Another quite unpleasant accusation leveled against me was that, in my reference to a YF betraying me, it must have been that I’d made some disgusting boorish pass on him. As I mentioned in a recent short take, that was very much not the case. I actually declined an advance from him, one presumably borne largely of curiosity and unfulfilled tension given that he was a straight boy. The actual betrayal was that he stole from me, and I couldn’t take it after the countless hours I’d spent nurturing and mentoring him, quite selflessly considering that I was astute enough to be unwilling to make the relationship a sexual one. The idea that his betrayal must have been a matter of him reporting some vulgar sexual advance, rather than me having been treated unreasonably as one of those evil pedophiles, so perfectly encapsulates the binary demonization of MAPs. In the eyes of the salivating virtual mob, everything that us evil sinners may do must be wildly sinister, motivated by a sadistic pure evil, and nothing done against us could ever be in any way wrong. It's an absurdly extreme mantra, a reflection of the vile culture that is the west.

What I find eminently fascinating is that so many people online are terrified of me being a pedophile, as if I want nothing more than to hurt some poor kid. In reality, that isn’t something that anyone should be afraid of. Far from it. I am incredibly nice to children. I really care for them and put in way more effort than is actually required, whether as a teacher or mentor, even if sexual contact is an impossibility. What people should actually be terrified of is my incessant burning hatred of the anglo world and its imperialism, and the fact that if a westerner should ever truly get in my face over my sexual orientation, on the ground and in person… well, I’m straining, with sweat dripping down my forehead, to envisage anything I wouldn’t be willing to do. And this frightens me massively, because I very much intend to befriend boys where I am now, even if only for a relationship that remains platonic.

My anger toward the west is admittedly one of partial weakness, perhaps excessive and rooted at least partly in the distant past. And yet the fact remains that the west continues to spread its insidious cancer across the Earth, whether that be via America's grotesque insurgencies and sanctions, or the burning yet cynically brittle hearts of western-origin NGOs like APLE, the latter being responsible for many an Asian child feeling irreparably victimized even when they were never truly harmed at all. And with the anglo establishment's vice-like grip over elite education culture across the world, any truly serious and well-paid educator will inevitably be caught up in its oppressive 'safeguarding' frameworks, which hinder well-meaning teachers and have no place outside of the deplorably miserable countries from which they emanate.

Many aspects of my advocacy perturb others in the MAP community. This includes my unrelenting aggression, wanton hatred of the west, and outright rejection of virtually all social norms. I could definitely phrase things more gently, and did so when writing for Mu. However, this is my personal site, even if it does have a surprisingly large audience for some random pedo endlessly ranting about how fucked up the world is. Note also that I write this way for a reason, and even my angrier choice of words is carefully considered, not some indifferently sneezed-out smattering of frustration.

Why do I choose to be so aggressive? Well, one of the many reasons MAPs are targeted is that so many of us simply plead for mercy like a distraught child, begging for understanding about how they're not a monster and just want to be recognized, pitifully and purely on the defensive, groveling for the tiniest slivers of acceptance. The question is, what do the beggars even fucking want from this? To be told they’ll be tolerated so long as they never so much as talk to or look at a child? It sounds pathetic, and frankly, it is. There is a place for stating our love and our goodness, but there is also a place for anger, aggression, and outright refusing to apologize for anything. There is a need to say bluntly, no matter how incredulously it may be received, that many of our enemies have no greater moral claim than Nazis, and would be better off dead, even if we don't actively endorse their literal bloody murder. Critically, this aggression does not necessitate a radical pro-c argument, but one of having some basic fucking self-respect.

I can’t help but feel a twinge of reverence for the Australian Dezi Freeman, a man who was hounded by police over his rejection of governmental authority, and then targeted on spurious allegations of sexual impropriety which his friends vehemently denied. He killed two police officers who came for him, was on the run for six months, and then went down swinging before ultimately being shot at the end of March this year. His life was cut short, no doubt, and perhaps the police officers who came for him were simply doing their jobs and didn't deserve such an end. Nonetheless, he stood up to the evil anglo machinery through to his final dying breath. I'd like to think that if some bastard ever came for me, I could do the same.