Most people believe, for reasons I find quite silly, that MAPs and minors should be kept apart. Ironically, many of these people succeed not in keeping these two groups apart, but in pushing them closer together. Let's take a look at a few of the many ways in which this happens. And if you have other examples, be sure to raise them in the comments.

Being mean to kids

As someone who has worked with children for a long time, I've become truly upset at how unnecessarily mean and distant many adults are with them. Kids love adults who are happy to show them attention, to play with them, and to not treat them like burdensome little pests. I do get that not everyone loves kids, and some people even actively dislike them. But the actual well-being of young people apparently matters so little that those who hate them will seek jobs with them, even joke about how much they hate them, and other adults will laugh. In a world where this sort of attitude is acceptable, who are kids going to gravitate to? They will seek out the few who show them care and attention, many of whom will be MAPs.

Divorce

My two closest YFs, now adults, were both raised by single parents. Those parents were incredibly nice people who did their absolute best. Nonetheless, raising a child alone is tough, and one parent doing the job of two is simply unrealistic. When another person is able to act as a surrogate parent, many children will jump at the opportunity. It won't even be a case of MAP trying to befriend a kid, but a kid trying to befriend the person who will be there for them... and happens to be a MAP.

Now I don't want to say that parents are always doing the wrong thing in getting divorced. A child would probably experience a lot more pain growing up in a home with constant fights, contra living with a single parent and having a loving AF in the picture. And I don't think any spouse should tolerate an abusive partner, regardless of the victim's gender or type of abuse suffered. But the point stands: divorcing is one of the most effective ways of pushing your child toward a MAP.

Shutting down MAPs online

There's been a renewed push to take MAP spaces offline, on very spurious grounds. Pretty much everyone knows that sites like this, and the embattled legarcon.net, are legal. Yet that isn't enough for many, who have mass-mailed hosting providers demanding our lawful sites be shut down because... well, we're MAPs. The French went even further, calling us criminals with zero evidence, and even launching an investigation into legarcon.net under a law which clearly does not apply.

Of course, we aren't going to disappear even if our sites do. When my server mysteriously went offline this past weekend, perhaps due to the actions of a nefarious party, I made a point of getting offline myself and playing with some cute new friends instead. One of them even showed up at my door the next day by himself. I didn't let him in that time for a variety of reasons, but if I really were the monster that all MAPs are portrayed as, how might that have gone down? Imagine if it were a VirPed member's house!

Making sex a sin

Note: Many MAPs abstain from sex with children.

Most people assume that kids don't talk about sexual encounters with MAPs due to threats or fear of violent reprisal. But making threats is the domain of non-MAP molesters, whose actions are not expressions of love and are motivated more by sadistic tendencies or just selfishly wanting to get off. In the case of loving sexual relationships between a MAP and a minor, the fear of being found out and shamed is likely a much bigger motivator for staying quiet. If adults had not problematized AMSC so severely, and were more open with their kids about sex in general, it would actually be much harder for such relationships to be kept a secret. And crucially, the shame can deter young people in truly abusive situations from speaking out.

Conclusion

If regular people really cared about protecting children, they would be a hell of a lot nicer to them, put the child's needs first, be more open to discussing uncomfortable topics, and not bully MAPs for sport. Are they misguided? Are they just feigning concern for children to be part of a mob? Whatever the case, many of the things they do merely push MAPs and kids closer together.

I hope I see my new friends again this weekend.