Over the weekend, HumanBeing left the following comment for me on Mu's MAP Forum:

YFs (and their parents) would kill you if they knew a part of yourself you are hiding from them.

If you want to hide like a criminal it's okay but don't give people fake hopes, tell them the truth from the start.

I don't agree.

If you're reading this blog, you're probably familiar with the insane comments posted on YouTube and other social media platforms. They give the impression that everyone is foaming at the mouth, jostling to kill or torture anyone merely attracted to children or teens. There are many people who are indeed that hateful. They even come to this blog. I wish they would all just die themselves, quite frankly. But do they represent everyone?

To some extent, there are likely geographical, linguistic, and technical factors at play. Anglo countries are outrageously hysterical, and other white or western countries aren't much better. Individuals from those countries form the bulk of people regularly using the internet in English. Social media algorithms identify those who interact with hate and MAP-related content, feeding them more and more of it, funneling the most vicious and vocal into the same violent echo chambers. It's utterly disgusting, but it's far from organic or representative of how the world as a whole relates to MAPs, despite the fact that it may seem that way.

And even in the west, how do people relate to MAPs they actually know? I've heard from many western MAPs that friends and family reacted supportively, or at least neutrally, when they were told the person they loved was a MAP. It's a lot harder to maintain the charade of a MAP being a grotesque and monstrous rapist in those circumstances. Herein lies an argument for cautiously coming out to close friends and family members, but not publicly as some might suggest. Please take note of the incredibly important distinction. If you actually think people would kill you for being a MAP, it's obviously better that you don't make a point of telling them.

Being in Asia, however, that is all of little relevance to me. Indeed, coming out is a distinctly western concept. In most Asian countries, at least outside of capital cities and expat enclaves, saving face and maintaining open secrets are cornerstones of a harmonious society, where back-patting and increasingly colorful radqueer flags would lead to smirks and confusion. This runs the entire economic gamut of Japan to Cambodia. Sure, Thailand does have its infamous ladyboys, but they mostly don't go around making a song and dance of their identity like their equivalent in the west.

I believe there are quite a few people in my local community who suspect I'm a MAP, including some of my YFs' parents. However, outright telling the community I'm a MAP would be absurd and embarrassing for everyone. People would be angry and confused at me for essentially forcing an awkward response when it would be much easier to simply pretend not to notice as they presently do.

As for what the boys would think if they found out I was a MAP, I imagine they would first and foremost be amused. Rather than run out of the room screaming like a brainwashed western kid, a more likely response would be raucous laughter and questions about who I find most attractive, replete with jokes and teasing targeted at first and last choice. MAP phobia is hate, and hatred toward a particular group is taught, not innate.

My YFs get an amazing deal out of our friendship. The parents can see this very clearly. The boys are able to do things they otherwise wouldn't, and with no expectation of anything in return. I do not have sexual contact with any of them. It's hard to overstate just how outrageously lucky a community is when someone like me shows up.

Overall, I like to think I live a fairly authentic existence, minus having a sex life. I work with kids, I have YFs, and I maintain the most actively updated MAP blog on Earth. I just don't broadcast my sexual orientation unnecessarily in person, in a place where doing so would be more contentious than my private albeit obvious feelings.

If people in the west want to wave their flags around and make a fool of themselves at pride parades, they can have at it. I prefer a life with a group of YFs, surrounded by neighbors throwing a wry smile at the weird dude who seems to like boys a bit too much.

But what for MAP activism?

I think Learning to undeny is broadly correct with his recent thread about utilizing different activist strategies by region. However, I don't suggest that we should stir up trouble in less hysterical regions. The western style of sexual politics just does not translate well.

For boylovers in Asia at least, any concerns about friendship or sexual activity are overwhelmingly western imports. Asians who speak English well do consume western news and social media, and they are slowly but surely being poisoned. While we unfortunately can't just nuke the west (oh, how I desperately wish!), we should continue to combat it aggressively for the sake of slowing the spread of its evil cancer.

Obviously our activism targeted at the west has not worked very well thus far, largely because our voices are so heavily censored, a problem made even worse by a few major tech companies owning the entirety of the internet and banning MAP accounts on sight. Would HumanBeing's demand for everyone to come out help? Absolutely... if everyone in the west did it at once. But that's very much a you first kind of deal, and those who did it first would be crushed. It's certainly not for one who wishes to maintain steady employment or interact with children in any way.

For those slightly less concerned about OPSEC - who are willing to give Google, Meta, or Musk their phone number - we desperately need some counterbalance on the major sites. You can't 'come out' as a MAP even under a pseudonym, but you can at least offer a gentle defense of sorts. Even a few such participants in popular threads would take the edge off, and perhaps sow some doubt in the minds of those who might consider importing such views to a less extreme locale.

The reason I persist with MAP activism is not to change where I am now. It's fine unless you start waving flags. I'm simply worried that, thanks to the vile tentacles of the west, it won't stay that way forever. MAPs should get the fuck out of hell while they still can, and fight it from a distance in their downtime from hosting YFs.