Regular reader Shotacon returns with a third guest blog, this time lamenting how so many MAPs needlessly self-censor. I've given the article a minor copy edit for readability, but the opinions expressed remain those of the author (even if I secretly agree with him).

So there I was casually and playfully interacting on a legal clearnet social boy love site, discussing innocuous topics one could find in Seventeen Magazine if there were a boy love edition. The topic was "Where would you take them on a date?" The original user who posed this question even further elaborated that he took his "boyfriend" (he did not say Young Friend) to a theme park. My reply was "We would cook together, cuddle up and Netflix and chill." You would've thought I had just confessed to a felony the way the one particular mod came down on me. They claimed "Everyone knows what that means, and you cannot say that."

Well, in reality, its not that simple. I mean in popular culture, it could mean having sex, but it also could mean just relaxing and binge watching a show. It's all based on context. Now, I expressly meant it as a cute instance of spending cuddly time together and nothing more. There have also been times in pop culture and social media where parents have said "Netflix and chill" and actually meant binge-watching a show with the family—nothing sexual. This was actually the original meaning when the term was coined in a tweet by La Shanda Rene Foster. So for it to be a foregone conclusion that it 100% of the time, always means that sex will occur, is ludicrous. Furthermore, neither the original poster's comment nor my comment specified any minors at all. I have in fact dated adults and had intimate moments with them. So once again, this mod was over-reacting. There were other mods who did not see my comment as any legal or safety issue for the board.

Now, I get that there are laws and rules which need to be followed to make sure the site and its users are safe. Any problematic comments would basically need to call for someone to say "I did XYZ to a minor", or "I am going to do XYZ to a minor". Staying in the realm of make-believe hypotheticals and fantasies that are not real-world and not going to actually happen shouldn't be an issue. Like I said, this was not any solid plan, there was no actual person or time or location specified, no explicit sex acts were discussed, and no one ever mentioned any minors being involved. So for it to be actually problematic, we would need to live in the world of "Minority Report" where people are convicted of "thought crimes".

So this got me thinking, are some MAPs going overboard with the self-censorship? I believe so. Just about everyday, I see various MAPs clearly afraid to speak their mind. This doesn't occur only with topics where any illegal activity occurred, just normal conversation regarding their attractions and feelings. Of course, attractions and feelings are not illegal activities. Many new members of various boy/girl boards come in and are scared to even admit that they are attracted to children. I know a lot has to do with the coming out process, which is difficult, but this happens with some veteran MAPs as well. They are couching their speech around other MAPs on topics that are not even illegal at all.

It has been shown that self-censorship among individuals or groups holding an unpopular minority status - whether political, cultural, ideological, religious, demographic, or sexual - creates distinct psychological, social, and systemic problems. While often adopted as a rational self-defense mechanism to avoid ostracism, harassment, or material penalties, widespread self-censorship carries severe consequences.

These costs range over various areas. Psychological and interpersonal tolls come in the form of cognitive dissonance and internalized shame. Repeatedly withholding genuine thoughts or masking one's identity leads to chronic dissonance between internal beliefs and external presentation. Over time, individuals often internalize negative external judgments, mistaking social unpopularity for moral or intellectual deficiency. There is no shortage of self-hating MAPs. Another is chronic hypervigilance. Navigating social, academic, or professional spaces under constant surveillance, monitoring every phrase, reaction, and association, induces persistent stress, anxiety, and eventual burnout. This is necessary in the real world, but one would think that coming to a boy/girl lover board is a release where you can "be yourself". Relational superficiality and isolation is another threat. When individuals censor core aspects of their reality, genuine connections suffer. Relationships become performative, reinforcing a profound sense of loneliness even within seemingly supportive communities like boy/girl boards. Too many MAPs live a loner or recluse style life. We feel disconnected from mainstream society, who for the most part, would rather us flail about feet first in a woodchipper.

Another range of negative effects is with social & epistemic distortions. When members of an unpopular minority stay quiet out of fear of isolation, the perceived dominance of majority opinions is artificially amplified. This leads others in the minority to believe they are entirely alone, further driving compliance and silencing dissent. Public discourse becomes detached from private belief. A community may operate under policies or norms that few individuals genuinely support, simply because no one feels safe enough to publicly articulate objections or alternatives. This was the case not too long ago, when on a different board femboy lovers were silenced by a few mods as they felt it was a "fetish". Reality is that femboy self-presentation is ubiquitous in mainstream society where there are the masc sporty boys and also there are more sensitive "fem" boys. Unpopular perspectives also frequently act as essential stress tests for prevailing orthodoxies. When minority voices preemptively withdraw, the dominant group loses the cognitive friction necessary to uncover blind spots, evaluate unintended consequences, or challenge flawed assumptions. This is how antis and normies view MAPs. They lack any reference point of truth to overcome their false assumptions and we MAPs just let them. This can even creep in with anti-c MAPs, or even undefined-c MAPs when they are interacting with pro-c MAPs. This is definitely problematic when anti-c mods use their power to try to "own" and thereby silence the opinions of pro-c MAPs when there is no illegal or rule-breaking behavior displayed on the boards.

This atrophy is exactly what is binding our limbs in the pedohysteria hellscape with which we are all too familiar. When minority viewpoints are concealed, whether it's regarding minor attraction or pro-c, leadership operates on an illusion of consensus. This blind spot produces fragile policies, ill-conceived initiatives, and sudden institutional failures when suppressed realities inevitably surface. When people cannot express unpopular perspectives within mainstream or moderate public forums like clearnet boy/girl boards, they are pushed toward subterranean, fringe, or extremist subcultures like the dark web where their views are validated without moderation, nuance, or healthy pushback. This cycle of the dismissing of minorities has historically occurred with every movement from gay love to interracial couples.

Where do we go from here? The long-term vitality of an open society depends on social tolerance for disagreement. When minority viewpoints routinely self-censor to survive, the civic muscle required to debate, tolerate, and coexist across fundamental differences atrophies. So it is vital that MAPs stop over self-censoring when there is no legal requirement to do so. We are only hurting ourselves, both individually, and as a whole. We need to channel the courage of Harvey Milk and Rosa Parks. We need to stop being scared of our own shadows. We need to rise up.

Now, I am not suggesting that MAPs come out and expose their real life identities. Given our current environment and threat level, it would be suicide on all levels. MAPs are currently being murdered, careers destroyed, social circles ruptured, even facing enhanced and undue scrutiny by law enforcement when only feelings were expressed and no crime has been committed. I still do urge all MAPs to stay safe and practice robust operational security to protect their real life identities.

However, staying safe does not mean you cannot still "be yourself" and voice your opinion and stand in your own truth as a boy lover or girl lover from behind a safety-mask. Stop trying to find more and more ways to push ourselves and each other into the dark corners of the closet. Instead, follow the law and rules, but also stand in your power and have self respect for your sexual orientation and who you love. Until Tom Cruise crashes through your window, you are allowed to have your feelings without recourse. So rise up and speak up. Our community needs your authentic voice.